420 ftw
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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