spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
