I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
