Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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