babies were throwing up all over the place
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize