ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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