Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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