There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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