I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
