Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
