I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
