I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize