I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
