he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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