It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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