its not stalking. its research.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
