Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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