So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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