they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
