we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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