1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize