so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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