I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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