I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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