the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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