It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
