You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
