Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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