can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry about my life...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
