So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize