Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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