They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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