How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
