think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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