Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
