my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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