At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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