hell yes lets make some ravioli
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
