see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
