I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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