She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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