oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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