i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
