There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Actions speak louder than pants.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
