I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
