Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
