We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
