So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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