he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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