i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
