Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
