Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
