I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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