wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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