everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
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Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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