I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
