my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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