If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
