So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
