On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
