It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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