YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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