Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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