if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
